Why Kundalini Yoga is my new favorite Thing
Feeling your feelings sets you free ~ Gabrielle Bernstein #miraclesnow
Sometimes the universe tries to give us messages but we're not ready to receive them. So it was for me and Kundalini yoga.
I first heard of it when a friend of a friend was said to have given up Friday nights out for Kundalini. "Cool, that's interesting," I thought. I learned it was a spiritual yoga.
Then I read Miracles Now by Gabrielle Bernstein. Gabby is a Kundalini teacher and shares many of it's teachings in the book.
Kundalini is the yoga of awareness, which focuses on enhancing one's intuition and strengthening the energy field.~ Gabby Bernstein #miraclesnow
Kundalini came up again in my healing journey with Aaron Teich, Dr. Kelly Turner's husband and esteemed Kundalini teacher. Teich eloquently guided meditations and spiritual techniques at Dr. Turner's Radical Remission Workshops at Omega Institute in 2016. I was inspired enough by Teich to buy a Kundalini DVD in the Omega gift shop [my absolute favorite bookstore in the world].
I brought the DVD home where it sat on a shelf. I tried it several months later. I didn't like it. First of all it wasn't yoga in the physical sense. There's no downward dog. There's no vinyasas. I'm a physical girl. To me yoga was supposed to be stretching and moving. At that point in my cancer journey Kundalini just seemed weird to be honest.
A year passed. My cancer improved drastically. I got myself from a death sentence to remission, in large part through a massive spiritual overhaul. In the fall of 2017, I got trained by Dr. Turner as a Radical Remission teacher. Teich again helped lead several spiritual exercises.
My interest was re-sparked, so I tried the Kundalini DVD again. I still didn't like it, but intuitively I knew I might some day.
Now it's spring of 2018, I have a close friend on a similar spiritual journey. She's my personal spirit junkie. The kind of friend one needs when they set on a quest to question every part of their belief system. She's a diehard for Kundalini. So my interest was piqued again.
I don't believe in coincidences, so serendipitously my TA from Elephant Journal, who is a yoga teacher in her real life, needed volunteers to test a video yoga platform. For two weeks, I practiced her yoga video and got one-on-one form critiques. She identified mistakes I've been for years in yoga classes and it really started to open up my body.
But here's where it gets a little woo-woo, while doing her practice I became incredibly sore and achy. And I was in a really bad mood. In addition, I started to feel like the cancer was coming back. I kept going because my TA friend needed me. I never would have without that commitment. I've stopped doing yoga several times in the past for this exact reason. I mean, why would I purposely do something that hurts and makes me a raving b*tch?
Well the lightbulb went off this weekend. Yoga was bringing up emotions physically buried in my body. I didn't believe this was such a thing until I got sick, now I have no choice but to believe it because I keep seeing and feeling it happen.
I realized I needed to push forward to dig out these emotions. If I want to keep progressing on this spiritual journey, get rid of the aches for good and take the next step to wellness I had to face whatever emotional junk the yoga was bringing up.
UGH. I hate when I have these realizations. I have a therapist and I'm a taskmaster. So in my mind, if I deal with an issue with my very skilled therapist in one session I have acknowledge it, I deal with it, poof, check it off the list — problem solved.
Sadly, emotional wounds aren't like that. They play out like a scratched record. The same wound just keeps replaying. I need to find a way to flip the record over to side B.
Intuitively, I pulled out the Kundalini DVD again on Monday. I was finally ready. Ten minutes into the practice I started sobbing like a little girl. There was no logical reason. It was simply an emotion that's been trapped — probably since I was a little girl — being released. Sounds crazy, but it was beautiful.
I will continue this DVD for the next week as part of my self-care. I'll see if this ultimately helps me release enough emotions that I don't go all crazy-town on my family following a yoga class.
This experiment proved again that the universe has my back and consequently, yours too. We just need to be ready to listen to what it's saying. I was slow on the uptake but it kept trying.
If there's something you're avoiding because you don't want to deal with the emotions that it brings up, consider trying to work through it. It's spring, so make it part of your spring cleaning. This way you may be free of the guilt, anger, fear, resentment or whatever it is by summer and can feel lighter and happier.
In light and love my friends,
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